To the lady who just called mothers without maids, martyrs:
Hello!! I don't have a maid and I have a clean house, clean children and a healthy marriage. I'm not sacrificing anything by doing what a parent is supposed to do. But you're right, this is a very 'Dubai' issue. People want larger-than-life lifestyles here. They want bigger houses than they can manage. They will cart their kids halfway around town because their kids 'should' be in a particular school. A maid is indispensable for a working mom, but for the others, I don't think so.
Hello!! I don't have a maid and I have a clean house, clean children and a healthy marriage. I'm not sacrificing anything by doing what a parent is supposed to do. But you're right, this is a very 'Dubai' issue. People want larger-than-life lifestyles here. They want bigger houses than they can manage. They will cart their kids halfway around town because their kids 'should' be in a particular school. A maid is indispensable for a working mom, but for the others, I don't think so.
Not just Dubai Issue - all over the Middle East through to Asia!
ReplyDeleteBut I have a husband who travels extensively and two under two - I would have struggled with my sanity if I had no help! Its fantastic that you can do it alone, I am not ashamed that I have help - I had a choice - some people do have a choice some don't - this "debate" gets quite boring after a while!
Chacun a son gout!
ReplyDelete"But for the others, I don't think so." I think there is more to judging how indispensable a maid is to a family than that. I've done it with and without a maid and in both situations had a clean house and happy children. To be honest the clean house isn't important to me. I like having the opportunity to spend the extra time with my kids. I have three gorgeous children who are all very young and needy at the moment. We have had so many changes in our lives over the past 7 months so for me not to have to bother with the household stuff and just focus on them is helpful to all of us. Looking after my kids is my work and when I find it the hardest job I've ever had (But easier with our maid!). A maid is not for everyone,it still costs money and people have varying experiences. I think there is no point judging each other for our choice around this subject. We certainly don't live it up larger than life. All I want is for my kids to be happy. You've just got to do what you think is best for your family at the time.
ReplyDeleteI had this convo with my mum once and her thoughts put things into perspective for me. There's four of us, mum had 3 under 5 at 21...as did her sisters and her mum refused to babysit for any of them! She pointed this out. Mum managed people got on with it back then. Your house doesn't have to sparkle. Make it work. Its manic yep but you decided to have the kids and your the best person to look after them fact. And as for date nights...have a bottle of wine on the balcony candlelit :) keep it real. Keep it simple
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ReplyDeleteThe issue is this: is the 'help' to enhance your ability to care for your children, or to avoid it altogether? I've met both - some want to spend their lives pampering themselves during the day and drinking themselves senseless in the evenings with as little to do with their offspring as possible. Indeed, my youngest hung out with extraordinarily wealthy feral kids in one gulf state we lived in. Money was in huge abundance and these teenagers ran their own lives, not attending school, spending thousands on an almost daily basis. When I discovered there was no parental supervision (kids left with the hired help as they travelled the world), I pulled her back and banned contact. I have worked full time, brought up three kids and most of it done in the UK, whilst hubby was out here, with NO help (no family to speak of) and cleaned and shopped AND had quality time with the kids. Our kids know how to clean, cook, keep happy and maintain boundaries in their behaviour. We're all close and no job belongs to one person - we all muck in together. I'm no martyr, but neither is my husband or kids! It's good to see the work ethic is now being passed onto the next generation our eldest is due to have her first baby soon and she doesn't question and she and her hubby will have to balance their lives to include the most precious gift of all - your children.
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